A Good Sunday

Today was Ethan's first Sunday in his new Sunday School class. It was AWESOME! He loved it, and one of his teachers said that he did great. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but this day has been long in coming.

Our church is awesome. I have been going there since 1993 when I was a freshman in high school. This is also where I met my husband, where we got married, and where we had Ethan dedicated to the Lord. Our church is a vital part of our life. Corey & I used to be able to attend every service & volunteer for many activities. Like when many couples have children, once we had Ethan, we had to try to figure out what going to church looked like for a family of three instead of a couple. Having Ethan with us was a new experience, and it was no longer possible for us to attend every service. Ethan, from birth, has always had difficulty with sleep, so we were kind of at the mercy of his nap/bed times. And as Ethan grew older, we thought we would be able to get back more into our old routines. Then, Ethan had difficulty just going into our church's sanctuary, let alone trying to sit through a service. And giving him toys or coloring pages to do wouldn't work because when he gets frustrated, he has loud meltdowns. So, we would use our church's nursery. That worked great for awhile. But then his Sunday School class was also the Sunday evening nursery room. That that was more than 4 hours in the same room in one day, and Ethan would have meltdowns when we would simply mention the idea of going back to church for the evening service. So, not wanting his teachers to have to deal with his meltdowns, we have been only going to Sunday morning services.

Let me pause to say that I think going to church only on Sunday mornings is perfectly fine. It's just not what Corey & I were used to doing & definitely not what we had decided to do once we were raising a family. We were raised in families that attended Sunday School, Sunday morning worship services, Sunday evening service, and Wednesday evening services.....as well as volunteering & attending extra activities. And we both came to know Christ at an early age, so this is what we wanted for our children.

Well, Ethan's peers moved up to the PreSchool Sunday School class in May this year. Ethan, being just 1 month shy of the 3 year old age guideline, remained in his current classroom. This was fine with me because Ethan also wasn't potty trained (another guideline for moving up to the preschool classroom), and I honestly wasn't sure if he was ready to handle the larger class size. His current Toddler Sunday School class has about 15 kids on average, and the PreSchool Sunday School class has about 23 kids. Plus, it is more structured & routine. So, Corey & I thought that the right decision was to keep him in his current class. But then, people started making comments about Ethan not moving up...."Why? I think he's ready. Just move him yourself...." and so on. The collection of comments made me start to think that maybe he was ready. So we spoke with our Children's pastor & Early Childhood Director and re-evaluated the situation. We again decided to keep Ethan in his current class. And maybe this was selfishness on my part. I knew that moving Ethan up would mean greater possibilities of more meltdowns & more work on my part.......or more of keeping him at home. And I don't think I was prepared for more isolation. PLUS, I work in the Toddler classroom during our church's second service, and that created 2 thoughts. One - keep him in there with me = I can handle the meltdowns or Two - move him up to the next class = I would have to be pulled out to deal with any issues. Currently, if there are any issues, my husband is the one handling the situations. If Ethan is sick, he stays home with him because I work in the Toddler room. If Ethan has an issue that morning, Corey deals with it so I can go volunteer. And this has been the way it has been for a couple years now because before I worked in the Toddler room, I taught an adult Sunday school class. And recently, Corey has expressed to me how tired he is of being the one to miss Sundays. He wants me to be more flexible so he can attend church &or Sunday school more often than he is now. What a great husband!!! He wants to go to church MORE!!!!!

And, on another side note, Corey & I were told that the divorce rate for parents of children with special needs is 80%. We decided a long time ago that we would not ever let our marriage get to a place where divorce was an option. My parents are divorced, and I don't want to experience that twice in my lifetime. When Ethan was diagnosed with autism, we not only reaffirmed that we would raise this child together, but we reaffirmed our marriage vows as well. With us both seeking God's help, we are determined to be the 20% who make it. For that reason, Corey & I are extremely honest with each other.....sometimes brutally honest. But I would rather have that than the lines of communication go dead. So, Corey telling me that he wants to be at church more & that he is done being the sole parent responsible for Ethan on Sundays is something that I take very seriously.

So, all of these things had been building......so I revisited the topic of moving Ethan up to the next class.....still not potty trained & still unsure he could handle the extra noise level. However, being in actual PreSchool everyday has been such a positive thing in Ethan's life, and he LOVES it. He loves routine & structure. (That he gets from me!) So, after talking with our Children's pastor & one of Ethan's new teachers (one of my close friends), we decided to take the plunge & try it out. The plan is for Ethan to attend his new Sunday School class while Corey & I are in the first worship service. Then, my mom who also attends the first worship service, will take Ethan home with her while Corey goes to his adult Sunday school class & I volunteer in the Toddler classroom. As time goes on, we will extend Ethan's time in his new class a little at a time until eventually he can stay in the classroom for Sunday school & church....about 3 hours. His PreSchool is 2 hours, so we are concerned about him having an accident in his pull-ups. But Corey & I are going to TAKE TURNS taking Ethan to the bathroom during the transition between our church & Sunday school. In order for this to happen, I will also be slowly released from my volunteer position in the Toddler room. I need to have a flexible Sunday morning schedule for both Ethan & Corey.

And now that Ethan is in a different classroom, maybe going to church in the evenings won't be so bad for him. He won't be in the same room for as long which will help with his behavior issues. Which will allow Corey & I to relax and attend church more....more like our original idea of raising our family in church.

This has been a sensitive subject in our house, and over the last couple of weeks it has gotten pretty tense. But today, as we BOTH took Ethan to his new classroom.......his headphones & lap-pad in hand.........Corey & I both felt very good about our new plan & our soon-to-be new way of doing Sunday mornings. AND......Ethan did GREAT from what I am told. Corey actually picked him up & took him to my mom, and Corey was told that he did very well.....didn't even need his lap-pad for story time. And when I came home from church, I asked Ethan if he read a story in his new class. He said YES! And when I asked him what it was about, he said, "Hiding." Well.....that's a new response, so I was interested in what their story was about......and then I looked in his take-home sack........and it was all about Adam & Eve........HIDING!!!! He also told us that he sang Bible songs, had smiley face snacks & played with cars. This is definitely the right move for him, and I'm so glad that Day #1 is under our belts. Things are going to be better around here for all of us. HALLELUIAH!!!!!!