How did you know? FINAL

Ethan was placed on a waiting list for the Easter Seals diagnostic clinic in October 2010. The earliest they could get him into the clinic that was closest to us was July 2011....9 months away. Ugh. Or we could go to a clinic that was an hour away, and they could get him in in May 2011....7 months. So, we chose the later. And, so, began the LLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG  anxiety filled countdown. The whole time we were waiting for the clinic, we were still trying to diagnose him ourselves. Does he have it or not? If so, what can we do for him. What are his specific issues. We were driving ourselves crazy. May couldn't get here fast enough.

In the meantime, he continued with the Early Intervention Program. He quickly started his developmental playgroup twice a week. And he loved it! He loved going to "school". When we would get there, he would run right in....no goodbyes or tears or apprehension....he loved it! And he thrived....this was one of the best things for him. We also started him in speech therapy. A speech therapist would come to our home once a week for an hour. I thought this would be wonderful, but Ethan had a difficult time focusing. Since he was in his own home, he wouldn't change his behavior simply because the therapist was there. He would play with her toys, but he wouldn't engage with her. He would take the toys behind a chair....he wanted the toys, but he didn't want to talk. So, we called Glenda our Fairy Godmother, and she found us a speech therapist at our local hospital. Ethan did soooo much better because it was a new environment. When he went into the speech room, he knew he was going to have to talk. We had good sessions and bad sessions, but it was much better for Ethan to go to her. This is also the same place we had Ethan's occupational therapy.

Ethan didn't start occupational therapy until after Christmas 2010. The Early Intervention Program put on a Christmas party for it's staff & students. I was so excited. We were going to finally meet parents & families going through the same things we were facing. I dressed Ethan in his cutest Christmas shirt & off we went to our local library....were the party was going to be held. When we walked in, Ethan wanted to go to the right...where we normally go on our weekly library day. However, the party was in a room to the left. Meltdown #1. I should have known at that moment that things were not going to go like I had hoped.  Once I finally coaxed Ethan into going into the party room, he was met by one of his playgroup teachers. We also saw Glenda our Fairy Godmother. They led us over to the tables where Ethan could make a snowman craft. He did it with his teacher. Then he wanted to play with the balls that the children were throwing in different containers (like the bags game). Well...we told him he couldn't take the balls out of the containers. He had to wait in line for his turn & then throw the balls......meltdown #2. Then, once he recovered, they had us all gather for story time. He did fine. Then they handed each child a bell to ring as they sang Christmas songs. HUGE meltdown #3. So, I took Ethan out of the party room & into the bathroom.....a quiet place where he could calm down. Little did I know that the bathrooms had movement activated hand dryers that went off as soon as you walked into the bathroom. MAJOR MELTDOWN #4....MAYDAY, MAYDAY, WE ARE GOING DOWN! Ethan was so upset, he was crying without sound. It was horrible. Once the dryer went off, we both sat on the floor in the corner of the bathroom, rocking & crying...both of us. It was awful. Once we both recovered, we exited the bathroom to a group of about 10 concerned staff members all trying to help Ethan & I.....meltdown #5. All Ethan was saying was, "bye-bye?" over & over again. I just told the staff thanks, but we were going to go home. They were all so sweet & understanding. They gave Ethan his gifts, party snacks, and a bag of other goodies. This was the worst day of my life. Alone again. We didn't even fit in here.

But, ironically, it wasn't the worst day ever. Because of this, the PARENTS at the party told Glenda our Fairy Godmother that their child suffered from similar sound issues, but because they were working with an occupational therapist, they were able to "endure" the party. Glenda called me with the idea of starting Ethan with an OT, and I quickly agreed. We were both crying...both of us upset for Ethan. I wasn't alone.

And over the last several months, we met more & more families, staff, and shirt-tail friends that were dealing with similar things. And even our family & friends were beginning to see/understand our situation. We weren't alone, and we were starting to reach out for help & support from everyone that would let us. Ethan continued with playgroup, speech & OT. And it finally came....May 4th at 7:30am.....the Easter Seals Diagnosis Clinic was about to focus their attention to our child. The day was long, but Ethan was AMAZING! He didn't have ANY meltdowns even with the new surroundings, sounds, and people. Prayer works baby! We felt that everyone who was observing & studying Ethan got to see the real Ethan...his strengths & weaknesses. Testing concluded at noon, and we were to meet the panel back sometime that afternoon. They would call us when they had reached their conclusion. So, my mom took Ethan home with her (she works in that town..she took a half day), and Corey & I stayed in town. We went to lunch & discussed the day. We both felt that whatever decision was made was going to be accurate...we both felt that they had heard/witnessed all of our concerns as well as experienced Ethan's sweet personality. They got a crash course in Ethan, and we both felt that that outcome would be a true reflection of our child.

So, they called us back about 2pm. They sat us down, showed us his scores, where he fell within the range for each one, discussed the video we had made, and on & on & on. And then the announcement. Ethan has "classic" autism. You would think I would have lost it, but strangely I felt relief. The waiting was over, the long day was over, and the jury had spoke what I knew to be true. Yes, I was still sad....and overwhelmed at the journey ahead.....but we now had even more resources...more people to help us & Ethan. I was relieved.

This was just a new beginning for Ethan & our family, but with the help of some amazing people placed in our life, Ethan is thriving! He is spelling more words today than he was SAYING a year ago. And Ethan's story is just one of many. But I am so thankful & blessed to be Ethan's mommy. He is my entire heart, and I will do whatever it takes to help him, to reach him, to support him, and to love him. And even autism won't stop Ethan....just wait & see.