Warning! This post is a therapy session for me. I have just had a terrible day, and this is how I'm coping with it.....by writing. And one of my biggest goals of writing is to be completely honest, so don't say you weren't warned.
I am sooooo frustrated. Ethan has been pushing kids for months now, and it seems to be coming in waves. It gets bad & then it is fine...or at least manageable...and then it gets bad again. For the last couple of weeks, he has been less & less compliant in doing our usual activities....going to the bathroom, changing out of his pjs, getting his book bag, etc. He only seems to want to do what he WANTS to do, and nothing else. He even had a potty accident yesterday because he refused to go to the bathroom? What is going on with him? Ugh.
Then, yesterday, I was told that his pushing has gotten really bad....to the point that he pushed someone over in their chair. I hadn't seen him getting that bad at home, but I knew that he just hasn't been himself lately. So, just in case he wasn't feeling well, I kept him home today. And I saw it. He isn't just pushing kids until they fall down. He is shoving them. And several times today, he charged at the kids like a bull! THEN, once they were down on the ground, he is sitting/laying on them! Oh my word!
OK....I get that kids do this. I get that. My frustration is.....who do I ask for advice? Who has been through this? Who can give me a solution? Or at least a plan to stick to so I'm not flying off the handle because I am hearing my niece crying & yelling for help as Ethan is sitting on her?!?! My sister & I thought that me watching her kids would be a good idea, but it just seems like they are being bullied by Ethan. And it is hard for me because I don't want any harm to come to any of my nieces & nephews.....and yet I see my own child being a bully! UGH! I don't know what to do or where to turn?
Do you ever have days where you just want to curl up in a ball & cry? That is what I am feeling in this moment. I don't know what to do about Ethan's behavior. All of my resources are saying to try things that I have already tried. OR they are saying that he will just grow out of it. This reminds me of when Ethan was biting other kids when he was an infant. And....he did just grow out it.
But that doesn't mean that I look the other way & don't TRY to get through to him?! But I just feel like I have exhausted my brain, energy & resources trying to get him to understand that he is hurting other people. I just don't know where to go from here. I can't give up, but what do I do?
The thing that is helping me get through this rough patch with Ethan is that he is BOOMING in other areas. His speech is expanding & becoming more & more functional. It's crazy how much he has improved in this area over the last couple of months. He is also becoming more & more social. When we go out to restaurants, he has started asking to go sit with other families....the families with kids at their table. Love that he wants to go play with other kids! ('Course, he may just want to tackle them! HA!) He is also becoming much more independent. Just yesterday, he opened the refrigerator to get his water bottle out of the door. This was the first time he had ever done this on his own. BUT, he didn't just get out his water bottle.....he got out his cousins' drinks & passed them out to them! OK, he didn't close the refrigerator, but he did went I asked him. Today.....he closed it on his own.
OK.....thanks for the rant. Back to reality......wish me luck.
I'm so with you today. There seems to be no rhyme or reason sometimes to our precious treasures..I'm sure you've tried a social story. They really did work wonders with all my students at school. There were even some video social stories that we purchased at school last year that were really good. My idea is that those deep pressure activities feel good to him and he thinks they feel good to everyone so that is his way of interacting with them. You know the situation better though so I may be way off. Good Luck dear friend. This momma adventure is never dull. :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't tried any videos, but, yes, I (and his school) have tried social stories. I will be sure to hunt down some videos! And I think you are right...he is seeking that deep pressure that he craves. I am so blessed to have you as my friend. Thanks for always understanding!
ReplyDeleteOh Jessica, I am so sorry for your frustration. I don't have specific advice to address this exact behavior, but I do want to encourage you. You are an AMAZING mother, and you are doing a fantastic job. You have faced challenges this big (and bigger!) and have overcome them. This too shall pass. Remind yourself that it's a phase. I know your biggest question is how to get through to the end of this phase. You will. I promise. You are very skilled and determined when it comes to finding the right resources to help Ethan. You will get through this too!
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