Best Lunch Ever!

Today was my first day providing daycare for 2 other children. My main reason for wanting to do this was because I think Ethan would benefit from spending more time with other kids......and we can work on his social skills. I know this will be an adjustment for him, but I just know it will be so beneficial in the long run. And you'll never believe it, but I already started seeing an improvement in his conversational skills. Amazing.

First, let me describe Ethan's speech. His actual diction is very clear. He doesn't have any trouble saying words clearly. His difficulty is creating "spontaneous" speech. He excels in what they call "rote response". An example of a rote response is this: "See you later, Alligator!"..........the rote response is.........."After while, Crocodile!" My current speech goal as his mom is to stock pile his vocabulary with canned phrases. Things like, "Hi, Goodbye, How are you? I'm good. I love you, Ethan. I love you too Mom. Please? Thank you. You're welcome"....and so on. He doesn't understand how a conversation works....the turn taking that is involved & creating new thoughts/phrases. (PS...they told me to do games with him that involved turn taking such a rolling a ball back & forth or doing board games & this would help him understand turn taking in a conversation. I have done that 'til I'm blue in the face, and he still doesn't understand turn taking in a conversation.....only in rolling a ball & board games. Anyway....) I am also working with him on understanding emotions....which is a difficult concept for most kids with autism. I have a couple of funny stories on that topic, but that's for another day.

My point is that at this point in his speech development, I'm rarely sure of what is spontaneous & what is rote response. I'm never quite sure if he understands what he is saying or if it just becoming a reflex. And that is difficult for me to deal with everyday because I want to communicate with him so much, but he just doesn't have the tools to do so just yet. I desperately want to know what he is thinking or feeling not just what he wants like food or a drink or help with a puzzle. But today.............(happy tears)..................today I saw the start of a spontaneous conversation. Something I have NEVER experienced with Ethan.

As we were eating lunch, I was trying to keep the kids sitting at the table as long as possible....so we played what I call The Favorite Game.......I really strained myself coming up with a title to this game, didn't I? Anyway, I just ask a TON of questions & the kids answer. But this is usually a harder game for younger kids because they love EVERY cartoon and EVERY fast food restaurant with a toy in their bag and EVERY toy they play with....so to pick one is challenging. So, I begin with the oldest child who is almost 5 years old. "What's your favorite color? BLACK.....WELL ACTUALLY, I LIKE WHITE & GREEN & RED & THE COLOR OF MY BOLOGNA & BLACK." I love kids! Then I turn to Ethan, really only expecting him to tell me a color because I have said the word "color" in my question. In his mind, he recognizes the word "color" in the form of a question, so answering me with any color is the correct response.....a rote answer. So when he is asked the question, he answers "blue".....and I note that this is the color of his outfit. That's typical response from Ethan. Then I ask the eldest, "What is your favorite song to sing? HERE YELLER, COME BACK, YELLER, BEST DOG-GONE DOG IN THE WEST!" (he sings it for me). This of course makes me laugh. Then, I turn to Ethan and ask the same question. And he says The Wheels on the Bus. RED FLAG! HOLD THE PHONE! I NEVER sing that song! This is not something that is a rote response but something that he is actually thinking about....a song he likes!? Does he understand what favorite means????

But I keep my excitement under control and continue with this brilliant game. And every question that I am asking Ethan, he is responding to not only "correctly" by giving me an answer from the category, but answers that I know to be his favorites! Toy = Cars. Cartoon = Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Food = Chips. Movie = Cars2. And on & on & on. Yes all of these answers are in the right category so it could look like rote response. BUT!!!!!! I know my child, and I know that these things ARE his favorites in each category! Are we actually having a spontaneous conversation?!!!!!! YES WE ARE!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!

Oh man....if this is happening on day one.....I can't imagine where he is going to be in week or a month or.......

One of our friends, who has a child with autism, told Corey that he thought Ethan would be able to work through a lot of his struggles early-on so that by the time he was in first grade, no one would know he has autism. And, honestly, when Corey told me that, I thought, "Yeah Right!" But now......I'm beginning to think it might be a possibility. Every step with Ethan has been hard work. Not only on our parts as his parents, but on his part as well. But I think he's gonna get it, folks! I think he's gonna get it. What a great gift I was given today. I spontaneously communicated with my child!!! Best lunch ever.