My Church Party

What I am about to share with you is something that I can't believe I'm going to actually say out loud....well....write out loud. But, since my main goal is complete honesty...the good, the bad, and the ugly me without coffee....here it goes.

Growing up in church, I went to every church function. My parents philosophy was, "If the doors are open, we are going." And because of this and the way they lived their lives, I began my own personal relationship with Christ when I was in 5th grade. I was very fortunate to have parents who taught me about Jesus as well as lived their lives according to His ways. I knew that I wanted to have a relationship with Him too.

Fast forward to a few years ago, 6 months after Ethan was born, to the new devotional book that my husband and I were reading through together. Night Light for Parents: A Devotional written by Dr. James Dobson & his wife Shirley. It is a great book. But one question posed in this book was, "What did your parents do or didn't do that helped you come to know Christ?" Well, both my husband and I gave our lives to Christ when we were young, and we want that for Ethan as well. So, we decided that we would continue to attend church "every time the doors were open" as well as continue to live our lives for Him. We just re-committed ourselves to doing this having the new realization that this could help lead our child to a life with Jesus.....our biggest desire for him.

So that was the plan. Sunday morning Sunday school, Sunday morning church services, Sunday night service, Wednesday night service, and all of the events & activities in between. It also helps that we LOVE our church. This is actually where Corey & I met & eventually married. Both of our families attend here, so ALL......yes ALL of Ethan's cousins go to this same church. It is home away from home.

However, the last year has been a real struggle to keep this commitment due to Ethan's sensory challenges. After 3 hours in his new classroom, we would find him spinning in circles in the middle of the room during the kids free-play time. After several Sundays of this, I could take no more. We had to cut down his time in this classroom....it was just too much for him.

So, now we are only going to Sunday morning Service and not Sunday school. Why do we no longer do Sunday night or Wednesday night? Because, since Ethan rarely naps anymore, he goes go bed very early. And if we mess with his sleeping schedule, he is harder to communicate with & he has more meltdowns as well as other difficulties. We don't mess with his sleep unless we HAVE to....it's too hard on him.

This doesn't mean that we don't love Jesus or our church, but our church "plan" has been altered. So, instead, we ABSORB Ethan's Sunday School class that he does attend. We do most of the recommended activities sent home that corresponds with the curriculum. We write, post, and practice the newest memory verse. We read the weekly story in Ethan's kid Bible at night. I even change my the desktop picture on my computer to match his Bible story of the week.

So....the new plan is FLEXIBILITY! Church is still a very high priority for us, but it looks differently than we had planned. Why is this such a struggle for me? Why is this such a big deal? Because it's part of the "dream" being lost. Because it's not how I was raised. Because it's not what we had planned. And that is hard for me.

However, I am finding encouragement as I read through God's Word. I am reminded of Paul who was under house arrest, and could not be with the church as he wanted. And during this time, he wrote these words..."And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28. And this is helping me during this time of heartache.

But, this has been soooo much better for Ethan. He now calls church "My Church Party." LOVE! He loves going and no more spinning. And soon I'm sure he will be able to handle more. But for now, this is where we are.....and I am trying to be okay with it but it is hard. I miss my Sunday school class. I miss my Bible study. But it is what is best for Ethan right now, and this mama will ALWAYS do what is best for him. And when he says, excitedly, "Let's go to my church party!".....it is worth it!