Mondays are rough.....on all of us. And for Ethan, it is no exception. And today was a really rough Monday morning. The weather today is dreary & gloomy.....a day that makes all of us want to stay in bed under our warm covers. And I have to admit, I was secretly hoping that Ethan was running a fever this morning because he was exceptionally moody today...but no such luck. Every thing I asked of him (nothing out of our normal morning routine) was met with a defiant scream....his way of telling me that he doesn't want to do what I am asking. Then, he was in time-out twice in one hour for pushing my niece down...a new behavior issue that we are dealing with. By the time I got all 3 kiddos in the van to do our morning school drop-off routine, Ethan was in full on crocodile tears with an extremely runny nose. None of my tricks were working today......not jumping on the trampoline, not singing silly songs, not doing joint compressions....nothing. Ugh! So, as I go to buckle Ethan in his car seat, we all decided to do some deep breathing....."Let's all calm down," I tell all the kids. I know how Ethan's behavior can make my stress levels soar, so I'm assuming that the other kiddos can feel all of that stress & tension not only from Ethan but from me as well. So...."Let's all calm down." Everyone gets really quiet as we take several deep breaths together. And then I realize something. Noise. A cable company is installing underground cables on our street...and they are right outside our house....digging in our yard with loud equipment, drilling into the street, etc. I didn't even notice it, but I'm assuming by Ethan behavior this morning that he could hear it. And this probably was the reason for his sensory overload.
So, I wipe Ethan's face with a random sock that I found in my purse (clean ones) since I couldn't find a tissue, and I talk to all of the kids calmly & quietly. We talk about what is coming next, what music we want to listen to, what drinks they all have, etc. By the time we head out of the drive way, the van is very silent & we are listening to the requested Go Fish Guys. It really has been an abnormally rough Monday morning.
We take the oldest to school first, and the drop off goes very well. AWESOME! Then we head out to Ethan's school, and as I pull up to the school......I see it. OH NO! There is a man mowing the school's grass....the grass that we walk through to get to the drop-off door. I take a deep breath because I know that this noise of the mower is going to set Ethan off all over again, and I need to muster all of my remaining strength & patience to endure this oncoming meltdown. He is already at the top of the Sensory Overload graph (see previous post), and I know he hasn't had enough time to come all the way back down & reset his senses. It's gonna be a big one.
So, we park, and I open the side door of my van. As soon as I do, Ethan hears the mower & immediately folds his earlobes down to cover his ears. I lean over close to his ear & tell him in a very calm voice, "I hear a mower. That man is mowing the grass like Daddy mowed our grass." He just watched his dad do this same thing 2 days ago, and Ethan & I had a very detailed discussion about mowing & what that means. (Ethan was very interested on that particular day even though it was not the first time he saw Corey mow our lawn.) So, I am trying to refer his mind back to watching Daddy mow our grass, and that it is safe & okay. However, Ethan does not remove his hands from his ears...not that I really expected him to do so. BUT, he isn't frozen with fear either. He is still moving his body as I help him get out of the van. Normally, I take his hand while I hold my niece on the opposite hip, and we walk to school together. But, there was NO WAY he was going to give me his hand.....so I took hold of his sleeve.
As we are walking towards the school door, Ethan still has his eyes fixated on the man mowing & his fingers in his ears. Then, I notice that the sound of the mower has softened. When I look over at the man.........(tears).......he has stopped mowing which made the motor sound drastically soften. He is looking at Ethan. I immediately start to cry. I wanted to go give that man a BIG HUG because he saw that Ethan was disturbed by the sound of the mower & decided to help him. HE SAW ETHAN & HELPED HIM. He doesn't know that Ethan has autism including sensory processing disorder. He doesn't know that we have had one of the worst school day mornings ever. He saw a little boy covering his ears & decided to turn down the volume of the mower. So simple, but such a huge difference that it made for Ethan....and the rest of us.
Awhile ago, we watched the Temple Grandin Movie. Temple Grandin is a woman who is living with autism, and she is amazing. In fact, my mom, my husband and I are all going to her conference this Friday, and I'm sooooo excited! But HBO produced a movie based on her live, and it was such an eye opening experience as Ethan's mom. There is one scene in the movie that touches my heart every time. In the movie, Temple has trouble with automatic opening doors....the kind where you step on the mat & it opens for you. She visually relates this image to a guillotine. She overcomes her fear & is able to make it into the grocery store with this type of entrance, but freezes when she has to exit the store using this same door. A stranger in the grocery store approaches her & compliments Temple's shirt. The stranger realizes that Temple is upset & asks her why. Temple tells her that she has autism & is having a difficult time walking through these doors. The stranger then walks WITH Temple through the door. When they come out on the other side, Temple is so excited because she did it! The stranger is confused but happy as well. When Temple tells her why she is so happy about walking through the door, the stranger says....."yeah, and I helped." This scene gets to me every time. A random person seeing someone in need & helping.
I often thing people are afraid of doing the wrong thing or not know what to say, but simple gestures make a world of difference. This random woman helped Temple walk through a door. The school's grounds keeper helped Ethan get into school calmly. People helping people.....it touches my heart every time. And who knows....the grounds keeper could have stopped for other reasons....but I like to think he saw a little boy who was afraid of the loud mower. 'Course I quickly started to think of an excuse in case anyone asked me why I was crying. "The grounds keeper stopped mowing for Ethan!" Could you imagine???!!!!
PS......Here is my other favorite scene in the movie. Her mother is the woman sitting next to her. Temple's mom will also be speaking at the conference on Friday. I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!
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