What did you do at school today?

This is a question that I ask Ethan every day when I pick him up from school. It has become so routine that Ethan has now started saying it as we walk out the doors of his school. :0)

Let me back up a little bit. This August, Ethan began going to school everyday for 2.5 hours. Earlier this year, he was "tested" by a group of educators to see which class Ethan would be a part of....the class of 10 children all with IEPs (Individualized Education Program) or a class of 15 kids of which only 5 children had an IEP. (This was a strange experience for me because I have been in these meetings, but always as the educator....now I'm the parent.) They chose to place Ethan in the larger class based on the fact that he currently does not need school for academia but to develop social skills. We were thrilled with this decision, and it seems to be going well so far. There are currently only 10 kiddos, 1 teacher, and 1 teacher's aide in his class, so that is even better.

So, last week, I picked Ethan up from school, and I ask him the routine question...."What did you do at school today?" And I get the usual....."Did you play with the animals? Yes! Did you play with the barn? Yes! Did you play with the cows? Yes!".........and now he is done. That is what I get....no names of other children EVER come up, no names of teachers EVER come up, no long drawn out stories or details......just three toys that he played with....that's it. And, honestly, this is HUGE!!!!!!!!!! Last year, he participated in a Developmental Playgroup twice a week as a part of his Early Intervention Program. When I would ask him what he did that day, he would ALWAYS say "cars".....that was it. So I'm so excited that he is telling me more things.

But as we were walking to the van, there is a mom & daughter behind me. And this little girl is hanging onto her mom's arm while skipping with her pink backpack bobbing up and down as she is excitedly telling her mom about her day....full of details & excitement & eye contact & back-and-forth responses....it was so cute!!!! And I momentarily got sad because Ethan doesn't communicate with me in that way....and I long for that with him. And it does make my heart break with I see his peers passing him in his social skills...playing with each other, laughing at a game they have invented, etc. This isn't a pity party because my son is amazing, and I love him more than anything. This is just a fact...something that we deal with due to living with a 3 year old with autism. This is a part of his autism is very hard for me to live with...but I'm learning & his speech is getting better and better.

So, yesterday, we are coming out of school, and I notice that Ethan has 2 scraped knees & a bump on his head. He is telling me about playing with a palm tree, flowers, and elephants.....I'm guessing it was a jungle thing. Then, I ask him about his knees, and he says a child's name.........did you see that????!!!!! HE SAID A CHILD'S NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let's take a moment to celebrate, people!!!!!

He said the other kid's name, and then he says "fast"....so I ask him if he & the other kiddo were running & bumped into each other & he says yes. Then, later that day, we were looking at some pictures that his teacher photocopied & sent home to show us what they are doing at school. I ask Ethan who he sees, and he tells me several of the other kids names!!!!!!! This is AMAZING!!!!!!

I also think they are reading Dr. Suess books because when we read our Dr. Suess books with him at night, he is reading it with different tones....like he is mimicking someone else's voice....like the teacher's. And he was also randomly repeating the Green Eggs & Ham story the other day....and we don't have that book. So this is how I find out what he did at school. It comes out in his imaginative play at home or in his clothes (blue play-dough) or in his scraped up knees.

Yes, the teacher does send home a newsletter, and I could email her if I really needed to know something, but this is not my point. My point is that due to the autism, communicating with Ethan is very challenging....not impossible, but challenging. We are very fortunate because Ethan DOES speak although it is not very "functional". But...we will just continue with his speech therapy, continue working with him at home, continue creating a very verbal environment, continue with our prayers for him, and continue to learn as much as we can in order to help him communicate.....one pot of coffee at a time.