Footprint 2 - I earned my bachelor's degree in Elementary Education.
Footprint 3 - I was a substitute teacher for 3 years which allowed me to work with MANY educators/schools & learn LOTS of strategies & tricks/tips for teaching a variety of skill sets.Footprint 4 - Becoming a mother made God's love for me so real & understandable. I was ready to trust him with my entire life once again.
Footprint 5 - God worked in my heart a desire to tell others how God has rocked my world....AND he increased the number of people in my life through our new found "autism-related" communities.
There are many days, like today, when I think how ill-equipped I am to be raising a son with autism. The frustration is overwhelming most days, and I ALWAYS feel like I fall short of being the kind of mom that Ethan deserves or needs. He needs a mom who has more patience, more understanding and more energy. But, when these discouraging thoughts begin to creep in, I always remind myself that NO ONE could love this kid as much as I love him. And then I vow to do better the next day.
But having this map of footprints is something that, now in black & white, I have realized that I really AM equipped to handle the mystery of autism. I have past experience, education, training, and a desire for learning to live with autism. Until this moment, I have not realized that all of these things have helped to mold me into the mother that I am for Ethan. Did my Great-Grandma realize that her decision to not institutionalize my Great-Aunt in the 1920s would effect her Great-great grandchild's life? I doubt it. But it has GREATLY effected me & my parenting values and therefore effects Ethan. Did my own Grandma think about how taking in my Great-aunt would effect the generations to come? Again, I doubt it. But, again....it's has.
During my student teaching & teaching years, I thought I was preparing for my own classroom. But I was being prepared for how to help & teach my own child. When I sit in educational meetings or attend conferences, I am able to follow the "jargon" & understand concepts. My husband has said to me during some of these that he has attended, "Did you understand that? Yes? Ok....explain it to me later." LOL! And without my past education, I wouldn't have been able to easily understand these things.
And, I don't even want to think about where I would be without having God in my life. He is my daily encourager & provider. I go to him with everything....my hurts, my worries, my struggles....everything. And as I continue to read His word & speak with Him daily, he is always comforting & loving. I couldn't imagine learning to live with autism without Him. I think I would loose my mind! It gives me HUGE goosebumps to see how He has been laying out these footprints since I was born. This then leads me to think about how he is preparing Ethan's path. He has been with me & watched over me since before I knew Him....and I can already see that happening in my child's life. GOD IS AWESOME!
I know that this moment in time is just another footprint to the next one....and who knows what that will be. But looking back helps me to continue to trust in the future. Whatever comes my way, I know that I will have either been prepared for it or it is to prepare me for my future. And that is comforting & reassuring.
So, what are your footprints? What things in your past have led you to what you are going through now? I encourage you to map out your footprints as well. If you are anything like me, you will be overwhelmed & awed at the outcome.
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