Who Takes Care of the Caretaker?

I have been thinking about this for awhile. And the answer is simple. Me. The problem is that I put 100% of my energy & brainpower into those I love and care for, and I leave nothing left for me. Then I wonder why I'm so tired, stressed, and maxed out.

So, over the last several months, I have been trying to find a balance. How can I still give Ethan what he needs as well as providing a balanced life for me? It's a struggle, no doubt. When I became a parent, my life changed. My sleep patterns changed, my eating changed, my social life changed, etc. When Ethan began Early Intervention & therapy, my life has changed again. All of my waking thoughts are how to help him in this world, and I never considered how this way of life would effect me. But it has. I often joke that I should take a picture of myself from year to year & see how much that year has aged me. So, I'm trying to find a balance. Balancing between being caretaker and just me. What can I do for me that will rejuvenate my mind, body & spirit? Well.....let's brainstorm.....

1. Rejuvenating my mind -I think this calls for an occasional Girls Night Out or Date Night....I'm on it!!! Something outside of the "autism world"...just for a little while.

2. Rejuvenating my body - This is an area of true struggle. Sadly, food is my comfort. I eat when I'm stressed, tired or upset. This was the case before the word AUTISM entered my life. However, since Ethan has been diagnosed with autism, I have gained 15 pounds.....and that has been less than a year. So, my goal is to STOP IT! Lol! I have been using a calorie tracker on my phone (Fitness Pal), and that has been pretty easy for me to record what I eat. I have actually been enjoying cooking (pause for your shocked reaction), and Ethan eating more foods is really spurring me on to cook a bigger variety. The next step will be to start back working out. The hard part will be finding the time, but in order to keep my life balanced, I need to get this time back.

3. Rejuvenating my soul - This I can do every day by doing my daily devotions. When Ethan was a baby, I would spend most of his nap time reading God's Word & meditating on it. It was wonderful. But since his therapy has begun, I use nap time (when he does sleep) to either write or research ways to do at home therapy or read books about autism. Always about Ethan & his autism. This is starting to swallow me. A new friend of mine recently said on her blog that, "sometimes a momma needs a break from it all." And that is true. So, I'm going to go back to carving out time to do my devotions (now I do it first thing in the morning), as well as finding time to read for pleasure, do a puzzle, or anything that is NOT autism or child rearing related. I think I can do that.....

The autism-related challenges that we face in our daily lives is very difficult. And it has taken me about a year to realize how much it has really effected my personal well-being. And this can not be good for me & is not good for Ethan. So, I'm going to try to find some balance. Once a week, I will blog about how or what I did that week to maintain balance...whatever that might look like. I'm calling it Taking Care of the Caretaker. My ENTIRE daily life can not be all about a thing called autism, like it has been for over a year now. I have to find a balance. So, I'm letting go of somethings (like a clean house & coupon-clipping), and I'm going to find more time for me....just one more part of learning to live with autism.