Triggers Explained

If you spend anytime reading this blog, you will hear these two words often.....TRIGGERS & MELTDOWNS. I would like to spend a few minutes today exploring TRIGGERS.

A trigger can be anything in one's environment that will cause an individual to feel anxiety, uneasiness, terror, or out of control...which leads to that person having a meltdown. It can be a change in one's environment, a change in routine, or something as small as the ticking of a clock or the smell of one's perfume. In fact, when I was in my last year of college, one of my professors told us that we may want to consider not wearing perfume when we were in the classroom. Not only could it bother kids' allergies, but it could trigger meltdowns. In fact, to this day, it is my habit to not wear perfume because of this.....but don't worry.....I still wear deodorant! HA!

Triggers vary greatly from person to person. There are some common triggers that we are aware of....such as change in environment or routine....but it is more beneficial if you know the person well enough to know their specific triggers. For instance, our Ethan DEFINITELY has triggers that we are aware of....and I'm sure some of which we are unaware.

Ethan's known triggers are.....

1. TV - We have to be very careful of what we watch on TV.....especially cartoons. In fact, over the last couple of weeks, we have "banned" Disney & PBS from our TV. Not because we don't like them, but the cartoons on these channels have a lot of characters falling, screaming, and pulling with grunting....all of these which cause Ethan to meltdown. What he prefers to watch? Commercials. His current favorites are Pizza Hut, Pep Boys, Menards, any fast food restaurant, and Fisher Price. We don't even watch kid movies unless we have his sound proofing headphones at the ready.

2. Loud noises - Kids yelling, the smoke detector, me hollering down the hallway to Corey, a hairdryer, vacuum, blender, etc......these are all triggers that Ethan has or has had in the past. He is doing much better with most of these. The trick is warning him that it is coming. We have been told that loud noises literally hurt his ears....because he has sensitive hearing. But, I also think it's partially because the noise seems to come from out of the blue. Through giving verbal warnings, these triggers have lessened. The trick is to know that the noise is coming.

3. Being told "no" - For a long time, I honestly thought when we told Ethan "NO", that he was throwing a fit instead of having a meltdown....so he would sit in time out. But recently, I realized it isn't being told "NO" that is the issue. The issue is that he thinks he is in trouble.....and this heightens his anxiety. This is something I realized this past week. He would ask to turn the lights out in the living room so he could see the headlights on his cars better. Usually, it was during the day, and I would say yes.....and the rest of us could still function with the daylight. However, one time he asked me, it was after the sun had gone down. Turning out the living room lights, would put us all in the dark, so I told him no. This caused Ethan to throw a fit.....or so I thought. When I was finally able to reason with him, I asked him why he was sad. He yelled, "We DO NOT turn out the lights." Then it dawned on me....this is the phrase that I use during our time out conversations.....example: "We do not hit our friends." Is he upset because he thinks he is in trouble? So I simply said, "You are not in trouble. I just want to keep the lights on so I can see." The crying stopped instantly. So, now when he asks for something, and the answer is no....and the meltdown comes....I have started saying, "You are not in trouble".....and he calms right down. It lessens his anxiety. I'm hoping, now that I know what the underlying issue is, that this trigger will eventually fade away.

4. Tone - This one is kinda tricky. There are certain songs that we can't listen to because some of the notes cause a meltdown. Now that Ethan is more verbal, he is able to tell us "a different song", and we know to skip that song because it bothers him. A popular song that has the tone in it is Happy Birthday. We only recently have been able to sing Happy Birthday because not only does the song bother him, but the clapping & cheering afterwards bothers him too. For his last 2 birthdays, we have had to sing this song fast & not cheer at the end. It still bothered him, but not enough to send him into meltdown mode....just a little nervous whining. In order to help Ethan become immune to this song, I randomly sing it when I light a candle in our home. Then, I let him blow it out......and then I re-light it. LOL. I know it seems silly, but he really likes blowing out the candle....which helps him endure the song/tone. And since it is such a random occurrence in our home, I'm hoping this will help him over time. Only time will tell, I guess.

I have been told that Ethan's triggers will change as he ages.....some will leave & new ones will appear. One of the funny things about being aware of Ethan's triggers.....which are mostly sound issues......I have found that I am becoming more annoyed at sounds. For example, this past summer, I was helping my sister work in her classroom (she is an elementary teacher). As we were walking through the gym, I could hear the hum of the lights overhead. I immediately wondered if it would bother Ethan. However, my sister, who has walked through the this gymnasium thousands of times, didn't seem to notice it at all. A couple of days later, Ethan joined us at the school for a couple of hours while we waited for Corey to come & get him. My sister wanted to show Ethan another teacher's room.....she thought he would enjoy the word wall.....which he did. But, we had to get to this other room by walking through the gym. I quietly watched as my sister took Ethan's hand and led him towards the gym. Sure enough, the moment Ethan got to the entrance of the gym, he stopped & put his hands over his ears.....he could hear it too. He was able to continue towards the classroom.....but covering his ears the whole time they were in the gym. Of course, this may have been different if there was a gym full of kids talking & playing.....he may not have heard it at all.....but who knows.

My point is that since I am constantly on guard for triggers, now I have developed a bit of super-sonic hearing myself! You would be amazed at the noises I am now aware of......I know where the heating/cooling fans are located in stores, I know which stores have automatic flushing in the bathrooms, my seating preference in a restaurant is away from the kitchen, and I am unable to think clearly if there is a lot of noise going on in my environment. In fact, my sister has asked me to walk through her classroom, and look for possible environment triggers?! What a great idea!!! Thanks to Ethan, I can now add to my resume.....Noise Detective Jessica is on the case! LOL!!!!