Week of Grandparents!

I just realized that Ethan was personally involved with every single one of his grandparents last week!

It started with Grandma Holly giving him a very handsome hair cut Sunday night. Ethan HATES getting his hair cut....it's the touching of his ears, the sound of the buzzers, and the tickling of the falling hair. We are so blessed that Grandma Holly went to cosmetology school & had 4 boys to give hair cuts to.....she has years of expertise on giving a cranky kid a haircut!!!! She will usually come to our house so we can give Ethan a bath afterwards. We place him in a chair with either a favorite show on TV or his iPad on his lap. We wrap a towel around his shoulders to prevent hair tickling. Grandma doesn't use any buzzers until the very end.....and she has swapped to using a mustache trimmer because it isn't as loud. Brilliant! Holly does a great job cutting his hair & talking to him while one of us holds his hands & reassures him that everything is okay. (We have even found a Sesame Street song online about a barber, and this has helped Ethan's anxiety.) After the haircut is over, either Corey or I will give him a bath while the other one vacuums. Thank you, Grandma Holly!

This week, Grandma made a special visit the day after the hair cut. She found sight word flash cards that she thought Ethan would enjoy playing with (which he has), and Ethan kept saying, "No haircut today." And Grandma kept assuring him that he was only there to play with the flash cards. It was quite cute.

Thursday, Corey & I had to go to Ethan's IEP meeting at school. Grandpa Buster has retired from his full-time career, and is currently working part-time. We were fortunate that Grandpa was available to take Ethan during this meeting. Grandpa & Ethan went on a "date" to Steak-n-Shake.....Ethan's favorite restaurant, and then back to their house to jump on the big trampoline. Ethan & Grandpa Buster LOVE cars, so it was awesome when Steak-n-Shake's kid toy was a 1957 paper-folded Chevy. This was the first time that is was just Ethan & Grandpa Buster....and they both did very well! Thank you, Grandpa Buster!

Ethan received a VERY BIG surprise in the mail this week! My dad lives about 6 hours away, and it is a difficult drive for us to make, so we don't get to see him & my step-mom that often. So, they have started sending the grand kids things in the mail. Ethan got his first package from them this week, and.....since he could read his name on it......very excitedly brought it over to me, and said, "I need help to open, please!" Here is Ethan excited to get a surprise in the mail!

He was very excited to find a Toy Story 3 DVD inside, and he ran it over to show me! Then, Corey told him that there was more in the bag. Ethan went back to the package and found 3 books.....Nemo, Toy Story, and CARS! Well, he dropped the DVD, lined up the books on the couch, and then picked up the Cars book, sat on the couch & began to read it! This kid is CRAZY FOR BOOKS! We have read them every day since. He loves them! Thank you, Papa Steve & Nana Sue!!!

And, finally, on Friday night, Ethan had date night with my mom. She took him to Wendy's for dinner, Menard's for playing on the indoor playground (found out it wasn't up yet.....yikes!), and then back to Grandma's house for playtime! Ethan stayed the night with Grandma, so I had packed 3 books for them to read before bed. I was told that when Ethan found the books, he was VERY excited. So, Grandma read those 3 books, and then got out a big pile of her own books. They stayed up late, reading together in bed, and then drifted off to sleep.....very quickly. The next morning, she took him to Hardees for breakfast and then to our house for playtime. Thank you, Gwamma Linda!

Ethan & us are so blessed to have such a close knit family. They are all very supportive of our family, and love Ethan so much. It was a fun week spent with LOTS of grandparent time! THANKS GRANDPARENTS! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!!!

Socializing....It's Not Just Difficult On Ethan

This past weekend, we had a WONDERFUL surprise....my dad & step-mom came here for a visit! One of my nieces was having her 2nd birthday party, and we were so fortunate to spend the entire weekend with them. They live about 6 hours away from us, so whenever they come for a visit, we try to spend as much time with them as possible. It was a great weekend!!!

But, during this weekend, I realized something about myself. I have always known that Ethan would prefer not to be in social situations but instead play on his own. However, this weekend, I realized that watching Ethan among other kiddos is difficult on ME.

In our own home, Ethan seems like a pretty typical 3 year old. He is comfortable with his environment as well as Corey & me. We speak his language, his environment is tailored for his sensory issues, and his social skills seem adequate.....at home. As much as I would love for him to be in this protective bubble of home, I know that this won't help him in the long run. So, we stretch him & put him in social situations as much as he can handle. It is good for him to learn social skills, language development, and other things from his peers.

But, I would be lying if I said it wasn't hard for this mama to watch. In our home, sometimes I forget that he even has autism. But when we leave the comfort of our home, and venture out into the world....I am reminded of how unique Ethan really is......and that pain of a dream lost comes to me all over again. Yes, I try to look on the bright side, and remember Ethan's super powers.....and that usually helps. But when I see Ethan playing by himself among a group of interacting children.....it stings. When I am trying to explain why pushing isn't nice during a time-out session, and he is only repeating my words....it hurts. When the entire family sits down to dinner, and Ethan is crying because he has to sit at the table with the rest of us....it is painful. It's like I'm being reminded over & over again that Ethan has autism.....and that is difficult for this mama to endure.

Someone once said to me that in order to teach a typical neurological developing child a skill, you may have to teach them 100 times. In order for the child with autism to learn the same skill, you may have to teach them 1,000 times. And I completely believe that. But, it can't be my excuse to give up on him. Ethan may have difficulty learning social rules or sitting at the table for long periods or using his words, but that doesn't mean I don't teach him otherwise. We work on it. Over & over & over again. I believe that he will one day get it. He is already doing better today than he was yesterday. Today, he is sleeping through the night, he is using a fork & spoon, he is potty trained, his use of functional speech is getting better, he is understanding more & more social rules, and so much more! He is getting it a little bit at a time.

So, I will have my little cry sessions in the shower, pray to God to be with my little guy, write all my feelings out, and then I will take my big girl pill, pour a cup (or two) of coffee & face another day learning to live with autism. And even though it is hard for me to see Ethan in social situations, we will keep doing it....because it is beneficial for Ethan & his future. And that is the prize I keep my eye on....

Hockey Game

I have talked before about how 2011 was focused mostly on LEARNING to Live with Autism. But through intense therapy, Ethan has been doing amazing & has overcome so many of his challenges. Not that we have stopped learning or that we are without new challenges, but I am hoping that 2012 is focused more on LIVING with autism.

I will never forget Dr. Temple Grandin saying, "You gotta stretch 'em." Just because Ethan has difficulty in social situations doesn't give us an excuse for keeping him home 24/7. In order for social settings to be easier for Ethan, he needs to be exposed to new situations over & over again. Even if that means, we walk in & walk out of a new place.....it's a place to start.

Well, a couple of weekends ago, I attended my 2 nephews' hockey game. They are preschool age, and seeing these little ones playing ice hockey is just ADORABLE! I decided that I would go by myself the first time....to see what the environment was like & what Ethan may need to endure this very loud activity.

Then, this past weekend, we ALL went.....Corey (my husband), Ethan & myself all dressed in warm clothes & headed to the hockey game. I am happy to report that Ethan made it through the entire 45 minutes!!!! He had a great time....climbing & walking around the bleachers, putting his face up to the protective plexiglass, and even cheering for his cousins! Then, the crowd cheered.....and even though Ethan was wearing his sound-proofing headphones, he immediately looked at me as his eyes began to fill with tears. Uh-Oh.........

So, I said to him, "That is called cheering. Is cheering loud or quiet?"

"Loud!" Ethan said....still panicking.

I then said to him, "Yes, cheering is loud, & that's okay!"

Then, he repeated that back to me, and I reaffirmed his statement. I could feel & see his nerves calming....and then he resumed playing. Every time the crowd cheered after that, he would look at me & say, "Cheering is loud, and that's okay." And I would reinforce his statement & compliment his calm behavior....and he would move on to the next thing.

At about 30 minutes, he began to ask to "go for a walk", but I was trying to "stretch him"....so I began to pull out my tools...a slow-color changing snowman ornament that Ethan received for Christmas, a sucker, and eventually, my smart phone where he looked at my pictures. That last one was unintentional, but it worked...so I just went with it. Here is a video of Ethan at the game....
  

He is cheering, "Go Hunter Go! Go Owen Go!"

At the end, he says, "Now you can have the phone"....

and that's how he ended up playing with my smart phone.

After the hockey game, some of our family went to Culver's to get some dinner. Ethan was so excited because he loves to "go in" to restaurants (instead of driving thru...) He ordered his standard meal...chicken nuggets & french fries...and sat at the table with the rest of family. Eventually, though, he took his color-changing snowman, and retreated to under the table. Under the table is quieter & dimmer lighting, so this told me that he was about done. And sure enough, I asked him if he wanted to go play at his cousin's house....and he just kept saying, "No. Home? Home? Home? Home?....." So, we took him home.

But I think he did amazing!!! He didn't sleep at nap time (no surprise), and both of these events were very out of the ordinary & LOUD! So, I am one proud mama right now!!!!! Great job, Ethan!!!!!