I think the 1 year anniversary of Ethan's diagnosis was harder than the ACTUAL day we heard the news. Maybe I just dove so deep into helping Ethan that I never really let the emotions surface fully. Who knows. But, as of today, I feel so differently about things.
In one of my entries last year, I compared Ethan having autism to him being inside a burning building....and I had to save him. I don't really feel that way anymore. Maybe because time has passed or maybe because he has come so far in a year's time.....or both.....but I don't really feel the need to "save" him from autism. I don't sense the urgency that I once did. Maybe it is my anxiety medicine working or just having lived with the diagnosis for awhile. I could speculate "why" all day long. But the bottom line....I feel that Ethan is out of the burning building I once saw him in....and I'm so glad!
I'm really just enjoying him more & more.......and worried less & less. I see him growing every day, and that comforts this mama. I love the lazy days of summer....just enjoying his company & spending our days playing. Our hard work over the last couple of years is paying off, and Ethan has come so far. I'm so proud of him. And I'm taking full advantage of our time together this summer. We are able to connect & talk & be silly better than ever before......and I'm lovin' it! I'm soakin' it up!!!
So, no longer is he in a burning building needing to be rescue. I feel like we found the path out of the scary fire, and we are moving farther & farther away from the flames. It's time to relax & enjoy the journey a little more. Maybe even skip & sing (although not too loud) along this new scary-free path.....
Here is a short clip of Ethan playing our our pool. He is laughing at a wind up frog that swims in the water...I just love this kid!